Wednesday, January 12, 2011

When Bonds Are Broken

After taking a long break, I find it difficult to start all this again. I always tell myself  every time I start to write that I'll be consistent in my writing but somehow I never seem to be able to keep the promise.There is not much news anyway, on the home front. Kitty is doing well, eating away to her heart's desire. I think it's quite safe for me to say at this point, that she is not pregnant. Thank goodness for that. Her huge tummy is conclusively the result of her continuous eating sprees as Mum had earlier predicted.
Kitty

Still on the topic of cats, I discovered a few days ago that one of the strays was limping badly. I could tell that she was in great pain the way she tried to make her way slowly to where I normally put the food for her. It's been almost a week now but she is not recovering as fast as I would like her to. There's no way I could take her to the vet for she never allows me to touch her, not even now when she's in dire need of help. I have been feeding her twice daily for almost 5 years now and still she does not trust me. Watching her this morning I realised that it is this element of distrust that has made her survive the odds thus far.
The injured stray waiting patiently for her food. The fact that she found her way up the wall is indicative of her progress

May be as human beings, we should follow the same policy. It makes me wonder whether our vulnerability is largely due to the fact that we put so much trust on people around us, friends and family alike. We often fall prey to the trust that we have in them. We trust that they will be there for us when we are in trouble. We trust that they will forgive us for whatever little mistakes that we make. We trust that they will stand by us through thick and thin. Alas, it is this dependency that weakens and in extreme cases, breaks the bond completely.

Something happened recently which made me realise that  you have to be extremely careful with words and actions if you want a bond to remain intact. Never take things for granted. What in your opinion is trivial and insignificant may NOT be interpreted the same way by others. Everything is relative and subjective.You have to be thorough on these two topics. You cannot afford to make a mistake. Sometimes your rational thinking says that  it is not a mistake but if it is perceived as a mistake by the other party, that's it. Sayonara. You are not given a chance to defend yourself. The door is slammed shut with a bang right in your face.

Never assume that all the bonds that connect you and your friends or relatives are indestructible. Believe me, they are so fragile and brittle and delicate. A little tap is all that it takes to disintegrate them to smithereens.  There's no way you could put the pieces back to its original form again. If  a family bond is involved, the consequences are even more destructive because the two feuding parties share the same family members. It's not easy to dismiss the whole thing as inconsequential as often proposed by  the other "neutral" family members in their attempt to ease the tension..

A family, both immediate and extended, is a precious, almost sacred institution. There are numerous bonds that are intricately intertwined to make it strong and firm. A single broken bond is enough to render the whole structure unstable. Once damaged, it would be quite impossible to restore the family to its original strength and splendour.

I am aware of the fact that I have been very abstract in my attempt to pour out my feelings. I don't want to be accused of  blowing up an issue, making a mountain out of a mole hill. I have to exercise great care and caution in whatever I say and do from now on. There are people out there who are trained to read in between the lines and this particular entry is for them to analyse and decipher. For the others who have not acquired the skill, you are not in any way inferior. It is safer to remain unskilled than to make a serious mistake misinterpreting meanings in between the lines.

I hope my writing is not offensive, especially to those close to the broken bond. I have no intention to worsen the situation. I still treasure my association with those directly linked to the broken bond and I hope they feel the same way towards me. InsyaAllah.         

13 comments:

  1. glad you're writing again

    words have no meaning without concept and perception. for me your writing is never offensive. you said it, what you think is not necessarily what others think but with an open mind one learns to appreciate views

    my two cents worth

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  2. welcome back aunty siti!
    glad to have you back!
    i guess you and xnuripilot are done with the book?

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  3. Salam noir,
    Glad to hear from you and thank you for the support.

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  4. Dear Dieya,
    I'm glad I'm back, too, but playing this hide and seek game is also fun. The book is now with the publisher and hopefully it'll be out this March. xnuripilot is extremely excited. Keeps talking about it everyday!!

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  5. Awatnya yang lama tak menulis nie?..
    Penat ke?..

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  6. Wan Sharif,
    Bukan penat tapi sedang mengumpul cerita. Hehehe!

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  7. Good to have you back.
    Love to read your style of writing.Continue writing ya.

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  8. mokja,
    Thank you for your kind words.

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  9. Such a poignant entry on relationship, indeed it is true yet you seemed so effortless in telling us all these. Reminds me of how you used to simplify maths for me back in those days :)

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  10. Dear Ana,
    It feels good when a former student remembers me. I supposse it feels better the other way round but having taught sooooooooo many before, remembering names is almost an impossibility. Regrettably, the profile picture also fails in conjuring up even vague images of the past. Nevertheless, it's good to know that you have blossomed into a successful pretty young lady. You make me proud.

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  11. Being a teacher myself, i understand the impossibility :) i used to study in taman seraya circa 2000 and i think i look different when i was 15. It was a mere coincidence that i came across your blog while researching about the recent flood but it's great to see you're doing well :)

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  12. Hi,
    Excited baca cerita2 cikgu @ this blog. Menarik. Anyway happy sgt2 dpt keep in touch dengan cikgu balik. Miss u cikgu. Cikgu idola saya dulu, kini & selamanya. Tkcr ;-)

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  13. Dear Mona,
    Mona tak ubah dulu, sekarang dan selamanya juga. Forever sweet, polite and respectful. Miss you, too.

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